I Am the Lard-Ass (feat. Seamonkey)

from Boobey Road by The Boobles

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Buy the Full Digital Album
Limited Edition Double-Vinyl Test Pressing in Autographed Gatefold Jacket
Record/Vinyl + Digital Album
MAJOR UPDATE: SEE AT THE BOTTOM
Vinyl test-pressing of "Boobey Road" (the only black vinyl pressing) limited to ONLY TEN COPIES!
Both delicious discs are lovingly housed in a white gatefold jacket with holographic Boobles "Boobey Road Drum Head" sticker and is autographed by many of the artists who participated in the project, including Dr. Demento, Bonnie Gordon, TV's Kyle, the great Luke Ski, Insane Ian, Chris Mezzolesta, Carrie Dahlby, Seamonkey, Seamonkette, Rob Paravonian, Steve Goodie, Carla Ulbrich, Jace McLain, Steedo, ShoEboX of Worm Quartet, Matty J Moose of Psychostick, and the entire core band of Big Mike Richardson, Rodney Bollinger, Paul Averitt, and Brad Swiger, with Jeff Dazey, Glenn Milam, and anyone ELSE we can get by the time these test pressings arrive!
Records will be in poly-lined paper sleeves and shipped in a protective outer bag.

MAJOR EDIT!!! We completely FORGOT about the 7" single test-pressings for "All You Need Is Jugs"/"Dear Prudish" and we have 10 of those too, so we're throwing in the 7" as a bonus! PLUS we'll include a 12"x12" print of the "Boobey Road" cover art with the Boobles' "Legend of Legends" on the back!

Includes unlimited streaming of Boobey Road via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. ... more

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lyrics

I'm a HE I'm not a SHE
I like to eat and people get confused...
They get perplexed tryin' ta figure out my sex
cuz my chest is large ...
I'm sighing....

Eating all the cornflakes and sitting on my widening bum
Ever-tightening t-shirt showing off my boobies
Getting errant cat-calls, how can people be so dumb?

I am a fat man!
I'm not a wo-man!
I am the LARD ASS
HUGE DUDE WITH BOOBS!

Missus prefix, Spoken reflex
Stupid little prefix that you chose
See it in your eyes, confused and paralyzed,
See how you're wrong
I'm sighing...
I'm siiiiiiiiighing
I'm sighing
Nice tryyyyyyyyyy...

Modicum of comfort
Talking on the telephone
Eyes cannot deceive ya
Over the receiver
Boy you're never called a girl
when it's your voice alone....

I am the fat man!
Impressive rack-man!
I am the LARD ASS
HUGE DUDE WITH BOOBS!

Sitting in the fast food drive thru waiting for my lunch...
If that pimpled clerk says, "Thank you, ma'am," then this burger's going in his face...

I am a big man!
Eat like a pig, man!
I am the LARD ASS
HUGE DUDE WITH BOOBS, HUGE HUGE DUDE WITH BOOBS!

Mister, sister, mother, brother
Choose one or the other, how'd you do?
Deceive your eyes, is it girl or is it guy, see how they tried
I'm sighing....

Episode of Seinfeld...
living each and every hour
Maybe I can tame them like Mister Costanza
Calling Kosmo Kramer, can you make this man a bro?

I am the fat man!
I'm shaped like Pac-Man!
I am the LARD ASS
HUGE DUDE WITH BOOBS, HUGE HUGE DUDE WITH BOOBS
HUGE DUDE WITH BOOBS, HUGE HUGE DUDE WITH BOOBS WITH BOOBS....

Huge-a! Huge-a! Huge-a! Huge-a! Boob-a, Boob-a, Boob-a!

credits

from Boobey Road, released July 13, 2021

license

some rights reserved

about

The Boobles Fort Worth, Texas

Comedy boob-rock parody for the sole purpose of raising money for breast cancer research! We DONATE all profit from album/song sales to The Breast Cancer Research Foundation. The Fab Two-Pair from Dimension 36D are made up of north Texas' finest tribute band members and the 21st Century's greatest comedy musicians as heard on The Dr. Demento Show and TheFuMP.com! ... more

theboobles.org

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